The Frequency Of Mind & Madness

I’ve found myself in a space that my casual mind would portray as “beneath me”. I always have control…right? I ask myself, only to learn along the way that the control was mere smoke and mirrors to the truth. That I had no control at all.

So I chose to go birds eye view, in the one place I have the most freedom, but turbulence perceives me. What am I really doing here? Why is it taking so long? What is the difference between patience and not enough? I feel the knots change as I get lower to the ground. I must make my mind up. What am I returning as? Do I come back as the old me? The “new” me? Or am I to find a hybrid of self? Either way, we’re here, ready or not.

I begin to indulge in the morphine I once belong to. A familiar numbness that built walls and barriers no human could deter. I dive into the memories to test my immunity, what do I feel? Nothing, and everything. So is this a safety net, or a means to take a load off?

As I begin my return from this place, this wonderland, still in a space of unknowing, I give gratitude to this outlet of creative madness. Here alone with me. Safe.